As you know, Jamos and I have been praying and praying about what our next steps will be in life. And, it seems like we have been getting nothing but disappointment in the answers. It is hard to remember that God really is directing our steps, but it is also REALLY frustrating to be so excited about something- only to have it not come to fruition.
Right now I feel angry, sad, at 'wits' end, more anger..., confused, let down, the list really could go on and on- and yet, I don't have anything I can do about it. I pray. I ask/tell God to help my heart.
That doesn't seem to take away the mean feelings about life's situations I am experiencing.
I am sure in the scheme of things - this is nothing but a little bump. I am sure when we do find our footing for our next steps I will say,"Wow, I sure am glad all those other things didn't work out". But in the midst of feeling STUCK right now, I am just plain frustrated. Mad. Ticked.
Life makes no sense. I need prayers.I need to fully believe in what God is doing in our lives. I need to stand firm in my marriage thru this difficult time. I need to not RUN away from the things I cannot control. I need to not try to control everything.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Sleepy
Has this time changed affected anyone else? I keep falling asleep quite early...for instance, just fell asleep on the couch around 6:30pm. Lucky for me- I got to wake up and do homework...We have 10 days. TEN DAYS!!!!! Until we are done! AHH. I can't hold my excitment.
Still praying for our next steps..oh..praying. always praying. God guiding our steps...the people we speak to, etc., and praying that something happens!
In health news- I had a physical last week...you know, the yearly visit where you get blood work taken...pee in a cup, etc., I thought all was well- but, turns out my blood work showed some abnormal thyroid function. It was only a matter of time til this happened. My granny, my mother, my husband are all on thyroid medicine...so that rubbed off on me- and now we are researching my thyroid. I had an ultrasound today (my 3rd ultrasound EVER- 1) gallbladder, 2) cyst behind ear, and 3) Thyroid) and my second in the last month. Anyways, we shall see how it looks to the doc.
Is this TMI or what? Sorry. My blog, my venting right?
So, I have to share how fabulous my husband is... do you remember black bean from this time last year? My sweet black stray cat that showed up on my porch every night at 5pm? Well, I am fairly sure her great grandkitties are now living at the dumpster... 3 little black kittens and the one that looks most like black bean lets me pet her and pick her up! But, only when I have food! :) There are a total of 8 cats out there by the dumpster- 2 are related and then, 3 kittens andtheir mom and dad. Plus, a white one that I am not sure where she belongs.. anyways- Jamos is allergic to cats- and he pretty much is a dog person, which stinks because I love cats...
Well, I have been walking around the "block" of our complex to see the kitties at night and bring them some food (canned food of course) and well, I am just so thankful when he comes with me- and plays with the cat who hates pretty much everyone- but likes Jamos. It is so interesting. This cat has followed Jamos all the way to our apartment one time- and it lets him get closer than any person. Anyways, next time you see J- you can call him the cat whisperer! :) ha ha.
Basically, that story was just to show you how those little moments in a marriage mean the most- to me anyways!
Let's see...what other ramblings can I talk about? I have not gone to Target in like a week- and I have saved quite a bit of money...:) GO ME!
OH, MarriagePrep is this Friday/Saturday. Pray for us. It should be VERY interesting to see how our new schedule works out- we are cutting back on breaks- adding some new things- and my friend, who teaches it, is actually the one who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. We only have about 110 people signed up, but still, it is a lot of work that goes into weekends like this- and I just PRAY that it goes well!
Sometimes, when I realize how much I do- full time work at SAU- MP, grad school, I wonder what am I thinking? It is a really good thing we don't have kids- because I would have a nervous breakdown already!!
Welp, better go think of something to feed us for dinner. I hate this time of night. Boo.
Still praying for our next steps..oh..praying. always praying. God guiding our steps...the people we speak to, etc., and praying that something happens!
In health news- I had a physical last week...you know, the yearly visit where you get blood work taken...pee in a cup, etc., I thought all was well- but, turns out my blood work showed some abnormal thyroid function. It was only a matter of time til this happened. My granny, my mother, my husband are all on thyroid medicine...so that rubbed off on me- and now we are researching my thyroid. I had an ultrasound today (my 3rd ultrasound EVER- 1) gallbladder, 2) cyst behind ear, and 3) Thyroid) and my second in the last month. Anyways, we shall see how it looks to the doc.
Is this TMI or what? Sorry. My blog, my venting right?
So, I have to share how fabulous my husband is... do you remember black bean from this time last year? My sweet black stray cat that showed up on my porch every night at 5pm? Well, I am fairly sure her great grandkitties are now living at the dumpster... 3 little black kittens and the one that looks most like black bean lets me pet her and pick her up! But, only when I have food! :) There are a total of 8 cats out there by the dumpster- 2 are related and then, 3 kittens andtheir mom and dad. Plus, a white one that I am not sure where she belongs.. anyways- Jamos is allergic to cats- and he pretty much is a dog person, which stinks because I love cats...
Well, I have been walking around the "block" of our complex to see the kitties at night and bring them some food (canned food of course) and well, I am just so thankful when he comes with me- and plays with the cat who hates pretty much everyone- but likes Jamos. It is so interesting. This cat has followed Jamos all the way to our apartment one time- and it lets him get closer than any person. Anyways, next time you see J- you can call him the cat whisperer! :) ha ha.
Basically, that story was just to show you how those little moments in a marriage mean the most- to me anyways!
Let's see...what other ramblings can I talk about? I have not gone to Target in like a week- and I have saved quite a bit of money...:) GO ME!
OH, MarriagePrep is this Friday/Saturday. Pray for us. It should be VERY interesting to see how our new schedule works out- we are cutting back on breaks- adding some new things- and my friend, who teaches it, is actually the one who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. We only have about 110 people signed up, but still, it is a lot of work that goes into weekends like this- and I just PRAY that it goes well!
Sometimes, when I realize how much I do- full time work at SAU- MP, grad school, I wonder what am I thinking? It is a really good thing we don't have kids- because I would have a nervous breakdown already!!
Welp, better go think of something to feed us for dinner. I hate this time of night. Boo.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
WOTY
Yes, this stands for Wife of The YEAR!!! :) That is me. Since I was up and at the car shop with our car at 7am- walked home- they fixed the car- walked back to get it- and had it all fixed and ready for my husband before he was ready to leave the house. AWESOME?! Yes, sometimes, I wish I was married to myself.
Is that strange?
Now that we are almost done with school there are a few things I want to try/do:
- learn how to crochet
- start cake decorating (already got my 52 piece kit!)
- make J and I a "health folder" where we can keep anything regarding our health.
- vacuum our cars out
- Continue my "felt" projects.
hmmmmmmm.
Is that strange?
Now that we are almost done with school there are a few things I want to try/do:
- learn how to crochet
- start cake decorating (already got my 52 piece kit!)
- make J and I a "health folder" where we can keep anything regarding our health.
- vacuum our cars out
- Continue my "felt" projects.
hmmmmmmm.
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Monkey Knots, Stuck in Park, Rain
I just have to say- that this day has been interesting! I was feeling cozy- so I made my delcious butternut squash/apple soup. It is SO good. Trust me. I am not a yam/orange family fan. Not even pumpkins THAT much. So, to eat a squash is a big deal. And this is delicious. Serve with croutons. YUM. So, I was feeling cozy, warm, lovely since the temps got cooler around these parts....
Jamos and I were on target with our homework for tonight- which means free time...he chose to spent that looking up monkey knots or something....
I stopped drinking diet pop (soda) around Feb.- and so my favorite drink is sparkling water. Not the flavored fake kinds, just sparkling water. Most people find it discusting, but I really like the bubbles...OK- so I decided I wanted to go to the store to get some more sparkling water since we were out. Jamos decided he wanted to come with me since he needed some type of parachut cord to make his new craft: monkey knots or whatever.
It is raining...
I asked to drive his car. Our little "whitey" which is a white, 99 honda accord. It has quite a few miles on it- and yes, we plan on replacing it soon- since we basically have replaced the entire car in the 10 years that I have owned it! Anyways, the last time I drove- we had a huge brake line leak...
After going to REI to grab the parachut cord- we came out- in the rain- to realize that I can't get the car out of park.
My sweet husband is uttering words of kindness to me...in the mean time, I I try to push the car in the rain to get it to move (why? I have no idea).
Lucky for us, we still have our owner guide- which indicated how to release the car from the "stuck" park position- which WORKED! And allowed us not to have to tow our car twice in 2 months! Though we have AAA, I didn't feel like waiting in the rain for them to arrive.
When we got home- I called my mom (my dad was already sleeping!) and Jamos went to work researching online. He discovered that it could be as simple as a FUSE. He said we needed to go see if the brake lights worked- because if they weren't working- it would really be a fuse. So, my mom (on the phone) and I and Jamos went outside in the dark and the rain- and our brake lights didn't come on!!! So, I am REALLLLLY hoping it is just a fuse, not another $700 car problem. We will take it to SAL up the road in the morning. I will make cookies for them. (if you go anywhere like a local place, take cookies! I get fast service now!! and nothing beats when Sal takes the cookies to the shop and goes "WE HAVE COOKIES!") :)
So, my night was not a total relaxation night...but rather another lesson in mechanics. Hey, maybe when I am done with this masters, I can go to tech school...that would be AWESOME! I would LOVE to learn how to fix my own cars....
Jamos and I were on target with our homework for tonight- which means free time...he chose to spent that looking up monkey knots or something....
I stopped drinking diet pop (soda) around Feb.- and so my favorite drink is sparkling water. Not the flavored fake kinds, just sparkling water. Most people find it discusting, but I really like the bubbles...OK- so I decided I wanted to go to the store to get some more sparkling water since we were out. Jamos decided he wanted to come with me since he needed some type of parachut cord to make his new craft: monkey knots or whatever.
It is raining...
I asked to drive his car. Our little "whitey" which is a white, 99 honda accord. It has quite a few miles on it- and yes, we plan on replacing it soon- since we basically have replaced the entire car in the 10 years that I have owned it! Anyways, the last time I drove- we had a huge brake line leak...
After going to REI to grab the parachut cord- we came out- in the rain- to realize that I can't get the car out of park.
My sweet husband is uttering words of kindness to me...in the mean time, I I try to push the car in the rain to get it to move (why? I have no idea).
Lucky for us, we still have our owner guide- which indicated how to release the car from the "stuck" park position- which WORKED! And allowed us not to have to tow our car twice in 2 months! Though we have AAA, I didn't feel like waiting in the rain for them to arrive.
When we got home- I called my mom (my dad was already sleeping!) and Jamos went to work researching online. He discovered that it could be as simple as a FUSE. He said we needed to go see if the brake lights worked- because if they weren't working- it would really be a fuse. So, my mom (on the phone) and I and Jamos went outside in the dark and the rain- and our brake lights didn't come on!!! So, I am REALLLLLY hoping it is just a fuse, not another $700 car problem. We will take it to SAL up the road in the morning. I will make cookies for them. (if you go anywhere like a local place, take cookies! I get fast service now!! and nothing beats when Sal takes the cookies to the shop and goes "WE HAVE COOKIES!") :)
So, my night was not a total relaxation night...but rather another lesson in mechanics. Hey, maybe when I am done with this masters, I can go to tech school...that would be AWESOME! I would LOVE to learn how to fix my own cars....
Keep on Keeping on
The weather has finally turned cooler- but it is raining, which means I can't really go outside and play in the fun, cool weather.
I can however try to enjoy the fact that in 17 days I will be DONE WITH SCHOOL. I seriously cannot tell you how great this is.
Of course, it has not really sunk in yet.
But, I am trying to realize that in 17 days I don't have to do homework for a while! (hopefully forever- but never say never right?!).
I am debating about getting a DYSON. I have a review thing going on facebook. But, I really love a good vacuum, so I am hoping that if we take the plunge it will be worth it! :)
In other news, jamos and I were able to vote last night. It never hits me until we have voted- how amazing our nation is- that we have the opportunity to VOTE. Do you know how many people do not have this freedom?
No matter what the results, we all have a chance to make our vote count. If you have never voted, I encourage you to research, talk, and understand the decisions being made in our political world.
Did I tell anyone that my bank here got robbed? It did! I can't believe it. Never banked at a location that had been robbed before...especially with a semi-automatic. Whew! Glad everyone was safe.
Jamos and I are still praying for open doors and asking that you pray too. I am really trying to understand that God knows the desires of both of our hearts for our future and as we trust in him to guide our steps in this life, I have to also trust that he knows what is best and exactly what we need! So far, so good! :)
Be a blessing to somoene today!
I can however try to enjoy the fact that in 17 days I will be DONE WITH SCHOOL. I seriously cannot tell you how great this is.
Of course, it has not really sunk in yet.
But, I am trying to realize that in 17 days I don't have to do homework for a while! (hopefully forever- but never say never right?!).
I am debating about getting a DYSON. I have a review thing going on facebook. But, I really love a good vacuum, so I am hoping that if we take the plunge it will be worth it! :)
In other news, jamos and I were able to vote last night. It never hits me until we have voted- how amazing our nation is- that we have the opportunity to VOTE. Do you know how many people do not have this freedom?
No matter what the results, we all have a chance to make our vote count. If you have never voted, I encourage you to research, talk, and understand the decisions being made in our political world.
Did I tell anyone that my bank here got robbed? It did! I can't believe it. Never banked at a location that had been robbed before...especially with a semi-automatic. Whew! Glad everyone was safe.
Jamos and I are still praying for open doors and asking that you pray too. I am really trying to understand that God knows the desires of both of our hearts for our future and as we trust in him to guide our steps in this life, I have to also trust that he knows what is best and exactly what we need! So far, so good! :)
Be a blessing to somoene today!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)